Attention Sexual Criminals: Tim Todd would prefer to be sexually assaulted bareback, as condoms most definitely do not prevent the transmission of STDs. Especially not in criminal-to-preacher transmissions, so don't even bother.

Email us at bwdpodcast@gmail.com.

"Wash away your pain, let me into your monkey brain! Sick dreams are made of fleas, moldy breath, and schoolyard cheese!" ~ Madonna Dahmer

WagglePiece theatre is decidedly anti-Toby Keith, and our Alaskan correspondent, Derek, reports on Alaskan things, like conserving urine and selling hot dogs from abandoned school buses.

Read Derek's news articles on politics at The Northern Light newspaper.

Wagglepiece Theatre: The Truth for Youth exposes the incidious evils of pornography, and "Free Coffee" gets assaulted.

Get it? GEDDIT?!? Well, not yet, you don't.

Ian and Andrew interview Alaska Senator Ted Stevens' grand-daughter, and expose the evil of abortion through manga style drama.

I will talk a waulk with a egg yol-k on my corn staulk.

Marilyn Manson and Richard Nixon debate global warming.

Safe-warm! Safe-warm!

What would rap be without confidence? OPEN YOUR EARS, ANDREW!

Ian has acquired a megaphone and only been punches once for it; Andrew would sexually assault Hitler to be with Natalie Portman, and Big Cyberpunk Hunter with Marilyn Manson.

It's my bro's bday! And here is the special, special episode.

That girl is a MAN! Doth I quiver? Perhaps.

MasterWaggle Theatre: "Urm's Perm" and "Bugs of Destruction".

The first installation of MasterWaggle Theatre: "A Robot to Remember", performed by BWD.

 Man ties neck to tree, drives off; Australia forces you to vote, Ian dabbles in Uropathy and excels in Flair bartending.

Shock collars, John McCain; Ayn Rand is a monster; and bus beheadings.

Episode #30! Holy Crap! Big time stuff.

I forgot to post this one, and we actually recorded another podcast today, but it was fueled by 9.9% Joose, as well as our troubled souls, so it's just as well that Audacity crashed. Here's the old one.klllllllllllnmj

Blah blah blah, you know the drill. Holocaust, race, dogs.

Ian's buying domains: Hogwild.org, guildofhogs.net. Come to me, pork lovers, and pay a premium!

Tacoma is American Heartland, I want to be a Bowflex when I grow up, and strange customs of the South.

Cat ranches, steam roller deaths, and pregnancy pacts.

Here's another treat for you sick bastards. Another classic episode. It's classic because it's made of toxic materials.

This episode was recorded right around my first day at college! Oh, were we ever so young.

Just as I was about to click on "save as" to preserve BWDT #26 forever in the annuls of podcast history - it was perhaps the greatest episode we've ever recorded - Audacity decided to sexually violate me with a giraffe spine and unexpectedly shut down. No luck. Gone forever.

In it's place, though? BWD CLASSIC episode #2, feature an unexpected call from Matthew McConaughey. Enjoy.

Carrie H. is the second person to email in! Good job, Carrie! The rest of you: Continue sucking ass.

ATTENTION: Email us a topic to talk about on the podcast, and WE WILL.

How easy is that, you sons of bitches? Simply send us an email with a topic, like gorilla vaginas, tectonic plates, or epicanthal folds, and we will discuss your topic on air.

This is our first episode recorded on our OWN computer. We are independent, people! You're fucked!

The frosting wells of Lithuania will be sucked dry when we being powering our cars with that gooey fuel source; Ian's animated movie about a powerful, beautiful, strong, powerful horse that strives to accept itself as the glistening, beautiful creature it is; and though it's nice Obama won, I can't help but be sad a mulatto, lesbian, quadruple amputee with a gluten allergy didn't win.

I will be known as The Cookie Monster, Prince is a sexual supervillian, Edward Kennedy has a brain tumorDUUuuuuuh, and so, so many of Ian's great ideas.

Furries are horrible people, is it illegal to kill thousands of grasshoppers?, and I have a fetish for exploding atomic bombs, don't judge my sexuality.

People who like maple bars do not have my respect; hot glueing dead animals' orifaces, add firecracker = animal bomb, Andrew tells many soul-killing puns, the head of the penis is shaped thatIcan'tevensayit.

Ian's loves dangerous cobra/chainsaw sex, if they smoke they poke, Sporklifts are absolutely useless, and Andrew would crush a hummingbird in his fist for a nice pair of tennis shoes.

David Koresh is our lord and prophet, old people are good pack mules, and Andrew gets whipped with a wiggly carrot.

The Mariners, as always, blow their two point lead against the Orioles, and Ichiro once again proves himself worthless.

Also, Ian corrals Andrew's savage drunkenness, and talk of hunting pigeons, and sex offenders.

Episode #17, take two.

The Dalai Lama is a weirdo fathead, Noah's Ark: Flood of Blood, Hebrew tongue twisters, and calimocho? Delicious.

Everything you ever wanted to know about realdolls, This or That, and the Fake Real Fake news.

What Ian doesn't know about Orca Whales; Chuck E. Sleaze, an adult pizza funhouse; and Niger is GONE.

Look at that! It's my toenail!

A dog was deposited into my checking account, The Viking Bank will only pillage and rape your life, and Portugal powers all of their cars with Hulk Hogan's ripped up shirts.

It's our first prize giveaway contest! HOLY SHIT!

THE PRIZES:

1) 1992 Marvel hologram card of "The Thing" from the Fantastic Four. Comes in a lovely plastic case.

2) December 2007 issue of Wired magazine autographed by Ian and Andrew.

3) A game of Freeze Tag with Ian and Andrew.

HOW DO YOU WIN?

ANSWER: Email us at bwdpodcast@gmail.com and tell us why YOU most deserve these wonderful prizes. We'll pick the best answer and email you back. We can either mail the prizes to you, or, if you'd like to take us up on that game of Freeze Tag, we'll tell you where to meet us for said game of tag. HUZZAH!

GAZE UPON OUR BUSINESS CARDS! Gaze HARD.

An epic installment of "This or That", squirrel hunting, and fingernails all over the world have stopped growing. Impact: MINIMAL.

Also, Barack Obama is a 14-year-old Thai girl.

Work is inconvenient to my fun-time, Jade West in West Seattle makes me cream my corn, General Tso trivia, another episode of "This or That" (Andrew would rather marry an ugly dwarf than have a child with Down Syndrome), and much, MUCH more! Ha ha!

Ever let your imagination wander and find shapes in clouds? This guy does the same thing, but 9/11.

Yoga causes berserker rage, Andrew would rather sexually molest a homeless person than strangle a kitten to death, Chihuahua's are impervious to fire, and the diarrhea hockey blimp will spray you down as sure as my name is Tango.

Giraffe's silently scream, CL sex ads, Ian is disappointed in Natalie Portman, try going 2 weeks only using Mastercard, and holy mother f'ing lord: Ian is actually 6'4", two inches taller than previously though. I have to reexamine my life.

Thanks oodles to Katie for lending us her iBook for recording. Couldn't have done it without you.

Trying to wrassle technical problems. Sorry for the hisssss.

Obfuscate: to make obscure or unclear.

Catamite: A darn pleasure.

Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves, but Harry Potter freed my imagination.Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves, but Harry Potter freed my imagination.

Ian has many good ideas, like a restaurant called Dr. Soupy's, where no matter what you order from their robust Asian/Tex-Mex fusion menu, the waiter brings a heaping, piping hot bowl of soup and spills it on your lap.

Fueled by Jolly Roger, Ian and Andrew create WAMU's new mascot, WAMU Willie! He destroys grandfather clocks and art with his ice skates.

Also, delicious ram horn meat.

Ian and Andrew weird themselves out by going to The Never Ending Story at the Seattle Children's Theater.

Ian and Andrew return to podcasting by strangling a St. Bernard to death with our bare hands, and sewing ourselves into Natalie Portman's sofa.

Ian's Timeless Nuggets of Wisdom:
http://timelessnuggets.blogspot.com/

Renaissance Faire Review:
http://ianandandrew.blogspot.com/